00:00

BACKGROUND: [Long Timpani drumroll]

CAP: Chicka And now, Chicka for everyone’s Chicka favorite game show Chicka that they Chicka didn’t even Chicka know existed…

BACKGROUND: [Theme music]

CAP: Chicka Animalia Fake!

BACKGROUND: [Drumroll ends] [Music picks up]

CROWD: {Cheers/Applauds in background}

CAP: Chicka The game Chicka show about Chicka animal facts.

SOUNDS: [Animal sounds]

CAP: Chicka We’re your Chicka announcers… Chicka Cap…

CHET: …Chicka and Chet!

SOUNDS: [Airhorns]

CHET: With airhorns: Chicka Peeoo peeoo!

CAP: …Chicka And here’s Chicka your host…

CROWD: {Quiets}

CAP: …Chicka Devon!

CROWD: {Cheers/Applauds in background}

DEVON: Hello, thank you, thank you very much. I am your host, Devon, and this is Animalia Fake!: The game show about animal facts. No you are not on the wrong podcast, this is still Kingdom: Animalia - A Zoology Podcast for Kids. Just now we have a game show! Now, I don’t know about you, but I want to start! …the! …game!

CROWD: {Quiets}

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: I know you still might be a little confused about what’s going on, so here’s the scoop:

BACKGROUND: [Look Busy starts]

DEVON: This is still Kingdom: Animalia. But now Kingdom: Animalia has a game show, Animalia Fake!. I’ll still put out regular KA episodes, but now, every couple of months, there will be a new episode of Animalia Fake!. *Sniff sniff*. Something smells fishy. That’s because today’s category is…

SOUNDS: [Short Timpani drumroll]

DEVON: Sea creatures.

SOUNDS: [Ta-da!]

DEVON: Species of animals that live in the world’s oceans. Now I hand it over to Cap to tell you the rules of the game. Cap?…

CAP: Chicka Alright.

BACKGROUND: [Look Busy fades out] [Theme music]

CAP: Chicka Every episode Chicka there are Chicka three rounds; Chicka every round Chicka there are Chicka four outrageous Chicka animal facts; Chicka and one Chicka of them Chicka is so Chicka outrageous it’s Chicka an <reverb><Animalia Chicka Fake>! Chicka Oh. Chicka That’s cool. <reverb><Chicka Animalia--> Chicka cap! Chicka It didn’t Chicka work. Chicka Nevermind. Chicka If you Chicka guess it Chicka right, you’ll Chicka get a Chicka point!

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CAP: Chicka But if Chicka you get Chicka it wrong… Chicka if you Chicka get it Chicka wrong… Chicka Absolutely nothing Chicka will happen Chicka and an Chicka enraged Cap Chicka Chickadee definitely Chicka won’t kick Chicka down your Chicka door and Chicka demand a Chicka punishment payment Chicka of a Chicka dozen caps.

DEVON: Yeah, that won’t happen.

CAP: Chicka Anywho… Chicka If you Chicka want to Chicka keep score Chicka and play Chicka along at Chicka home, you Chicka can write Chicka it down Chicka on a Chicka piece of Chicka paper, an Chicka online note, Chicka etc, or Chicka you can Chicka download the <reverb><Chicka official Animalia Chicka Fake! scoresheet> (Chicka Hey, there Chicka it is!) Chicka using the Chicka link in Chicka the show Chicka notes or Chicka click the Chicka button on Chicka the page Chicka for this Chicka episode which Chicka is at…

DEVON: kingdomanimaliapod.com/animaliafake/seacreatures.

CAP: Chicka Thank you Chicka Devon. Chicka And that Chicka is all.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: Alrighty. Thank you, Cap, for the rules of the game. Now onto round one!

SOUNDS: [Ding-ding 2]

DEVON: Take it away, Chet and Cap!

BACKGROUND: [Question music]

CAP: Chicka Is the Chicka Animalia Fake Chicka A),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CAP: Chicka Some deep- Chicka -sea animals Chicka biolumines (bioluminescence Chicka is light Chicka made by Chicka living things) Chicka to hide Chicka from predators. Chicka That’s right, Chicka they light Chicka up to Chicka hide.

CHET: Chicka Or is Chicka it B),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CHET: Chicka Sea stars Chicka regurgitate their Chicka esophagus and Chicka stomach into Chicka the shell Chicka of their Chicka clam prey Chicka and won’t Chicka suck them Chicka back in Chicka until the Chicka yummy, gooey Chicka bits are Chicka digested.

CAP: Chicka Or is Chicka it C),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CAP: Chicka Goblin Sharks Chicka can thrust Chicka their jaws Chicka up to Chicka three inches Chicka or seven Chicka point six Chicka centimeters off Chicka of their Chicka face to Chicka catch their Chicka prey.

CHET: Chicka Or is Chicka it D),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CHET: Chicka Though they Chicka usually spend Chicka only a Chicka few minutes Chicka under, Marine Chicka Iguanas can Chicka hold their Chicka breath underwater Chicka for up Chicka to thirty Chicka minutes—that’s Chicka longer than Chicka dolphins!

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: Now it’s time for you to guess which is the Animalia Fake. I’ll give you fifteen seconds to think of your final answer. Your time starts… now!

SOUNDS: [Fifteen second timer/thinking music]

+00:15

SOUNDS: [Alarm sounds]

DEVON: Time’s up! Hope you have your final answer. The Animalia Fake of round one was…

BACKGROUND: [Short Timpani drumroll]

DEVON: …B) Sea stars regurgitate their esophagus and stomach into the shell of their clam prey and won’t suck them back in until the yummy, gooey bits are digested.

SOUNDS: [Ding-ding-ding 2]

BACKGROUND: [Answer music]

CROWD: {Cheers for a little while in the background}

DEVON: It was actually a trick to catch anyone who knows a lot about sea stars. See, sea stars don’t regurgitate their esophagus and stomach into clams, they only regurgitate their stomach! So some deep-sea animals do glow to hide from predators (the way it works is that they only light up the underside of their body so they look like the sunlight from above to predators looking from below and so they won’t cast a shadow), Goblin Sharks can thrust their jaws three inches or seven point six centimeters in front of their face, and Marine Iguanas can hold their breath longer than dolphins can. Good job to everyone who got it right.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: Now onto round two.

SOUNDS: [Ding-ding 2]

DEVON: Chet?

CHET: Chicka Yeah?

DEVON: Cap?

CAP: Chicka Yeah?

DEVON: Take it away.

BACKGROUND: [Question music]

CHET: Chicka Is the Chicka Animalia Fake Chicka A),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CHET: Chicka The narwhal (Chicka the whale- Chicka -like so- Chicka -called “unicorn Chicka of the Chicka sea”) is Chicka actually more Chicka closely related Chicka to rhinos Chicka than to Chicka whales and Chicka dolphins.

CAP: Chicka Or is Chicka it B),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CAP: Chicka The Moray Chicka Eel has Chicka not one, Chicka but two Chicka sets of Chicka jaws! Chicka They have Chicka the regular Chicka jaws called Chicka the oral Chicka jaws and Chicka a second, Chicka smaller set Chicka sitting back Chicka in their Chicka throat to Chicka help grip Chicka their prey Chicka called the Chicka pharyngeal jaws.

CHET: Chicka Or is Chicka it C),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CHET: Chicka Whales have Chicka a pair Chicka of lips, Chicka called the Chicka phonic lips, Chicka in their Chicka nose (blowhole) Chicka which they Chicka use to Chicka make their Chicka loud noises!

CAP: Chicka Or is Chicka it D),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CAP: Chicka An Emperor Chicka Penguin can Chicka spend their Chicka entire life Chicka without ever Chicka setting foot Chicka on land, Chicka since they Chicka breed on Chicka sea ice Chicka and forage Chicka in open Chicka ocean the Chicka rest of Chicka the year.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends] [Theme music]

DEVON: Animalia Fake! will be back with the answer, some jokes, and round three right after a quick break. Don’t go anywhere.

CROWD: {Applauds a bit}

BACKGROUND: [Music stops]

CHET: Chicka Let’s take Chicka this time Chicka to thank Chicka our sponsor.

BACKGROUND: [Sponsor music]

CHET: Chicka Animalia Fake! Chicka is sponsored Chicka by Chickadee Chicka Brand Birdseed. Chicka Are you Chicka a bird Chicka that’s tired Chicka of the Chicka seed selection Chicka your neighborhood Chicka humans put Chicka out for Chicka you? Chicka Are you Chicka craving something Chicka different? Chicka Well this Chicka is the Chicka seed for Chicka you. Chicka From the Chicka makers of Chicka “Chickadee Brand Chicka Suet” and Chicka “Chickadee Brand Chicka Mealworms”, Chickadee Chicka Brand Birdseed Chicka gives you Chicka a wide Chicka variety of Chicka seeds, including Chicka sunflower, safflower, Chicka mixed, and Chicka many more. Chicka Go to Chicka birdseed.(Chicka)chickadee.(Chicka)chirp/(Chicka)order and Chicka use promo Chicka code “Animalia Chicka Fake!” for Chicka twenty percent Chicka off your Chicka first order. Chicka That’s birdseed(Chicka).chickadee(Chicka).chirp(Chicka)/order Chicka promo code Chicka “Animalia Fake!” Chicka for twenty Chicka percent off Chicka your first Chicka order.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

BACKGROUND: [Theme music]

CROWD: {Cheers in background}

DEVON: Welcome back to Animalia Fake!: The game show about animal facts. I’m your host, Devon,…

CAP: …Chicka and we’re Chicka your announcers, Chicka Cap,…

CHET: …Chicka and Chet!

BACKGROUND: [Music fades out]

CROWD: {Quiets}

DEVON: Before the break, we left you with a dangling question: Is the Animalia Fake…

BACKGROUND: [Question music]

CHET: …Chicka A),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CHET: Chicka The narwhal (Chicka the whale- Chicka -like so- Chicka -called “unicorn Chicka of the Chicka sea”) is Chicka actually more Chicka closely related Chicka to rhinos Chicka than to Chicka whales and Chicka dolphins.

CAP: Chicka Or is Chicka it B),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CAP: Chicka The Moray Chicka Eel has Chicka not one, Chicka but two Chicka sets of Chicka jaws! Chicka They have Chicka the regular Chicka jaws called Chicka the oral Chicka jaws and Chicka a second, Chicka smaller set Chicka sitting back Chicka in their Chicka throat to Chicka help grip Chicka their prey Chicka called the Chicka pharyngeal jaws.

CHET: Chicka Or is Chicka it C),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CHET: Chicka Whales have Chicka a pair Chicka of lips, Chicka called the Chicka phonic lips, Chicka in their Chicka nose (blowhole) Chicka which they Chicka use to Chicka make their Chicka loud noises!

CAP: Chicka Or is Chicka it D),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CAP: Chicka An Emperor Chicka Penguin can Chicka spend their Chicka entire life Chicka without ever Chicka setting foot Chicka on land, Chicka since they Chicka breed on Chicka sea ice Chicka and forage Chicka in open Chicka ocean the Chicka rest of Chicka the year.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: Now, it’s thinking time! I’m going to give you the usual fifteen seconds to think of your final answer. Your time… starts… now!

SOUNDS: [Fifteen second timer/thinking music]

+00:15

SOUNDS: [Alarm sounds]

DEVON: Time’s up! It’s time for the reveal! The Animalia Fake of round two was…

SOUNDS: [Short Timpani drumroll]

DEVON: …A) The narwhal is actually more closely related to rhinos than to whales and dolphins.

SOUNDS: [Ding-ding-ding 2]

BACKGROUND: [Answer music]

CROWD: {Cheers for a little while in background}

DEVON: It is just a straight up lie. They are more closely related to whales and dolphins. They are in the infraorder Cetacea which includes whales, dolphins, and porpoises. Their closest relative being the Beluga, which they share a family with. So yes, the Moray Eel has two sets of jaws, whales have lips in their nose/blowhole, and Emperor Penguins can spend their entire lives without ever setting their webbed feet on land. If you got it right, mark off your point.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

BACKGROUND: [Standup With Chet entrance sting]

DEVON: You want to know what this means? It’s time for Standup… with Chet.

CROWD: {Cheers in background}

CHET: Chicka Hello! Chicka Hello! Chicka Thank you, Chicka thank you Chicka very much.

BACKGROUND: [Sting ends]

CROWD: {Quiets}

CHET: Chicka I’m here Chicka to tell Chicka you three Chicka jokes that Chicka relate to Chicka the category.

CROWD: {Cheers a bit}

CHET: Chicka So let’s Chicka get started. Chicka Here’s the Chicka first one: Chicka What’s a Chicka sea cow’s Chicka favorite percussion Chicka instrument? Chicka The du-gong!

SOUNDS: [Rimshot]

CROWD: {Laughs}

CHET: Chicka By the Chicka way, dugongs Chicka are related Chicka to manatees, Chicka both of Chicka which called Chicka “sea cows”. Chicka Now for Chicka my second Chicka joke. Chicka Here we Chicka go. Chicka Dolphin 1: Chicka “These fish {Chicka} are all {Chicka} scattering!” Chicka Dolphin 2: Chicka “We better {Chicka} coral them {Chicka} into that {Chicka} corner!”

SOUNDS: [Rimshot]

CROWD: {Laughs}

CHET: Chicka Thank you, Chicka thank you. Chicka Now for Chicka my third Chicka and final Chicka joke. Chicka I saved Chicka the best Chicka one for Chicka last, so Chicka hold onto Chicka your hats.

CROWD: {Laughs}

CHET: Chicka Alright. Chicka Ahem. Chicka Fish 1: Chicka “Something’s off.” Chicka Fish 2: Chicka “Yeah. {Chicka} Something smells {Chicka} fishy”.

SOUNDS: [Rimshot]

CROWD: {Laughs}

BACKGROUND: [Standup With Chet exit sting]

CHET: Chicka Alrighty! Chicka That’s my Chicka time!

CROWD: {Applauds in background}

CHET: Chicka I’ll see Chicka you next Chicka time for Chicka standup… with Chicka Chet! Chicka Chet out!

CROWD: {Quiets}

BACKGROUND: [Sting ends]

DEVON: Wait, Chet. You’re still the announcer.

CHET: Chicka Oh, right. Chicka Chet back Chicka in.

CROWD: {Laughs}

DEVON: Alright. It’s time for round three….

SOUNDS: [Ding-ding 2]

DEVON: The final round. If you’ve gotten it right so far, this is the make or break moment. Here we go. Take it away, Chet and Cap!

BACKGROUND: [Question music]

CAP: Chicka Alright. Chicka Is the Chicka Animalia Fake Chicka A),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CAP: Chicka Pods of Chicka Orcas are Chicka capable of Chicka hunting down Chicka and killing Chicka and eating Chicka the Blue Chicka Whale, the Chicka largest animal Chicka to ever Chicka live! Chicka That’s like Chicka a group Chicka of school Chicka buses attacking Chicka a jumbo Chicka jet!

CHET: Chicka Or is Chicka it B),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CHET: Chicka The sea Chicka snake is Chicka not actually Chicka a snake, Chicka they are Chicka actually a Chicka species of Chicka eel that Chicka early explorers Chicka confused for Chicka snakes, and Chicka the name Chicka just stuck.

CAP: Chicka Or is Chicka it C),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 1]

CAP: Chicka A Flying Chicka Squid can Chicka use their Chicka mantle as Chicka a hydro- Chicka -powered jetpack Chicka to fly Chicka over the Chicka surface of Chicka the water!

CHET: Chicka Or is Chicka it D),…

SOUNDS: [Ding 2]

CHET: Chicka An Arctic Chicka Tern, who Chicka lives over Chicka thirty years, Chicka since they Chicka migrate from Chicka the Arctic Chicka to the Chicka Antarctic and Chicka back every Chicka year, will Chicka travel about <Chicka one point Chicka five million Chicka miles><reverb> or <Chicka two point Chicka four million Chicka kilometers><reverb> in Chicka their lifetime, Chicka or the Chicka equivalent of <Chicka three trips Chicka to the Chicka moon and Chicka back!><reverb>

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: Hmm… that’s a hard one. I mean… I, of course, know the answer, though. So I’ll give you the usual fifteen seconds to think of your final answer. Your time… starts… now!

SOUNDS: [Fifteen second timer/thinking music]

+00:15

SOUNDS: [Alarm sounds]

DEVON: Time’ssss up! It is time for the <reverb><big reveal!> The Animalia Fake of round three was…

SOUNDS: [Short Timpani drumroll]

DEVON: B) The sea snake is not actually a snake, they are actually a species of eel that early explorers confused for snakes, and the name just stuck.

SOUNDS: [Ding-ding-ding 2]

BACKGROUND: [Answer music]

CROWD: {Cheers for a little while in background}

DEVON: That is… not true! Though they look much like eels, Sea Snakes are, indeed, snakes. So, Orcas can eat Blue Whales, Flying Squids can use their mantles as water jetpacks, and Arctic Terns can travel the equivalent of three trips to the moon and back in their thirty-year lifetime. Good job to those who got it right, you can mark off a point.

BACKGROUND: [Music ends]

DEVON: Okay. It’s the time we’ve all been waiting for. All of our winning contestants—those who got all three rounds correct—will win an…

BACKGROUND: [Short Timpani drumroll]

DEVON: …Animalia Fake!… Chet or Cap plushie!

SOUNDS: [Ta-da!]

CROWD: {Cheers in background}

DEVON: Have you ever wanted a model replica of Chet or Cap in fabric and stuffing? Well now, if you won, you will get one. Just show us your winning scoresheet and pick yours up at the exit after the outro.

CHET: Chicka But wait!

CROWD: {Gasps}

CHET: Chicka You don’t Chicka have to Chicka wait until Chicka after the Chicka outro!

DEVON: I told you Chet, you can’t use a prize cannon like in Two Whats?! And A Wow!.

CHET: Chicka Oh, but Chicka I’m not Chicka using a Chicka prize cannon… Chicka I’m using Chicka a prize Chicka catapult!

DEVON: Oh, no…

CHET: Chicka Oh, yes!…

DEVON: …a loophole…

CHET: …Chicka a loophole!

DEVON: Please no, Chet…

CHET: Chicka Ready the Chicka launch…. Chicka Lift off!

SOUNDS: [Catapult launch]

CHET: Chicka Haha!

SOUNDS: [Prizes falling]

CROWD: {Screaming}

DEVON: Alright, everyone stay calm! Just move calmly to the exits and collect your prize if you won, since Chet used them all, while I do the outro

CROWD: {Slowly quiets in background}

BACKGROUND: [Theme music]

DEVON: Okay. Animalia Fake! is a production of Kingdom: Animalia - A Zoology Podcast for Kids. You can download the official Animalia Fake! scoresheet to play along next time at kingdomanimaliapod.com/animaliafake. You can view the episode transcript and check my facts by looking at the works cited on the page for this episode which is at kingdomanimaliapod.com/animaliafake/seacreatures.

CROWD: {Cheers/Applauds in background}

DEVON: You can send in questions and episode suggestions to contact@kingdomanimaliapod.com or you can use the contact form on my website which is at kingdomanimaliapod.com/contact. I’m your host, Devon, and your announcers are Chet and Cap Chickadee. So, until next time, keep learning the TRUTH about this amazing Kingdom: Animalia. …And please, please do not launch podcast-co-host-themed plushies into crowds of people using catapults! Bye!

CHET: Chicka Bombs away!

- Ends -

• Devlin, Hannah. “Whales Use ‘Phonic Lips’ in Nose to Make Loudest Sounds of Any Animal, Say Scientists.” The Guardian, edited by Betsy Reed, 2 Mar. 2023, www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/mar/02/whales-use-phonic-lips-in-nose-to-make-loudest-sounds-of-any-animal-say-scientists.
• Inman, Mason. “World’s Longest Migration Found--2X Longer Than Thought.” National Geographic, 12 Jan. 2010, www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/100111-worlds-longest-migration-arctic-tern-bird.
• Maxwell, Colby. “Blue Whale Predators: What Eats a Blue Whale?” A-Z Animals, 26 May 2022, a-z-animals.com/blog/blue-whale-predators-what-eats-a-blue-whale.
• Monterey Bay Aquarium. “Illuminating the Facts of Deep-sea Bioluminescence.” Monterey Bay Aquarium, 15 Nov. 2021, www.montereybayaquarium.org/stories/bioluminescence.
• National Science Foundation [NSF]. “Moray Eels Are Uniquely Equipped to Pack Big Prey Into Their Narrow Bodies.” NSF - National Science Foundation, 5 Sept. 2007, www.nsf.gov/news/news_summ.jsp?cntn_id=109985.
• Oceana. “Marine Iguana - Oceana.” Oceana, 10 Mar. 2023, oceana.org/marine-life/marine-iguana.
• Silen, Andrea. “Goblin Shark.” National Geographic Kids, kids.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/facts/goblin-shark.
• Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, and Rebecca Hirsh. “Fascinating Facts About Emperor Penguins.” Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, 2 Sept. 2021, www.whoi.edu/oceanus/feature/fascinating-facts-about-emperor-penguins.
• Wyzykowski, Shelby. “Super Squid! Flying Marvels of the Natural World.” Carnegie Museum of Natural History, carnegiemnh.org/super-squid-flying-marvels-of-the-natural-world.